Powerless Escape.

Limitations.

2012-03-01T19:30:00.001+08:00

Life is being life. It goes on.
I had a fun birthday (: and as cheesy as it sounds, I feel really blessed to have plenty of people who care about me. Even the littlest (:

Work for the next 3 days. I shall really set out to clean up my house soon. I hope. When I have time. I'm dreading for Poly to start. So lazy to fill up the enrollment forms and all. Sheesh. Soon I guess.

I know you'll come. You will.

Stranded.

2012-02-29T00:34:00.001+08:00

A big thank you for everyone who wished me a happy birthday! Those who gave me a ring and wished me on Facebook and twitter too!

I'm a really happy girl. I enjoyed my day today! (:

I'll post the other photos soon! (:

Motivation.

2012-02-26T21:28:00.001+08:00

Fuck. This is damn shag. Yesterday barely slept. Got drunk and didn't even have time to sleep it off because I met G and Jing today. Spent 5-6 hours cleaning up vomit and nonsense everywhere too.

Then tonight I have work. It's probably going to take the whole bloody night, but I'll have $200. So I can't sleep again. Then I'm meet Ruiqi to be off to Leeboon's at 8am. Then after that I have work from 6-11pm.

3 exhausting days without sleep. I feel so shag just by thinking about it. Should I just go ahead?

Fuck you.

2012-02-26T09:23:00.001+08:00

Hi. I can't believe I'm awake right now. I feel zai because I'm sober enough to blog properly. I'm blogging because I have to stay awake. I feel, like shit.

But in all. It was a fun night. My tummy hurts. Okay bye.

Youth.

2012-02-25T02:02:00.001+08:00

My sleep timing are getting weirder. Anyway had work at 6pm today! A new trainee came in (:

We also found a lost/abandoned doggy :( we called up SPCA and I spent quality time with the dog. It's so cute omg. But it kept drooling all over me and licking me. It was super well behaved, didn't even bark, and willingly went into the cage. Wish I could've brought it home :'( but I'll visit it at SPCA soon :)

Miss Geralding Ng came to my workplace with her boyfriend too! Aww (;

After that had a last minute preposition to work until 1am, which was cool (: around 1.45am, Ben and Tracysent me home, and got stopped by the police. Just casual checks. Cui my IC photo -.-

So it was a pretty interesting day! I should read and sleep soon. I'm dead beat. I miss the doggy already :'(

Growing up.

2012-02-24T02:14:00.001+08:00

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he call it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
And that was the year Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring loudly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen

-The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.

Clueless.

2012-02-09T02:57:00.002+08:00

I can't keep up with all the activities I've been doing lately, or the people I've been going out with. I remember going out with Angela and Simin to the Airport. We had some crazy laughter, I swear. And I lost money. This year is not my gambling year :(

I remember going to Emilia's for her CNY party, which was pretty fun I guess? We slept in until 1pm LOL. Stupid Eugene kept stealing the blanket I swear, bitch only!

I remember going out with Syafiq, Huda and Nizam, and then went to Jasmine's CNY dinner, which I also lost money at -__-

Oh oh oh and Kbox with my girls! Heh, WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE YEAH, I got passion in mah pants and I ain't afraid to show it ;)

Okay, so pictures. There's more, but I have no idea where they are.

Ice skating with Angela a long time ago!

Some person thought it was funny to take this photo of hair COUGHS ;)

My face just ruined the whole nice photo only. Serious, kaopeh only.

During CNY dinner at my place. Which I lost money, again -.-

At the risk of me sounding lesbian, I love it when Sijing smiles like this.

Cold rock with the people! And taking candid shots of them >:)

Discipline.

2012-02-04T03:56:00.001+08:00

I'm so freaking tired! I slept only 4 hours yesterday, didn't sleep today, and tomorrow, I'm tonning. Oh well. I'll survive somehow.

Plans for today. Simei>brother's glasses>Daiso>Condo booking>Funeral>Bugis for dinner>Emilia's.

VERY BUSY CAN. WAHLAO.

I'll blog again VERY SOON.

What I want.

2012-01-28T21:10:00.002+08:00

Since I felt like I haven't blogged in almost a week, but I'm still too lazy to blog, I shall just put some pictures! (:

Credits of them are to Sijing who took months to upload! Cough cough! Oh and Sijing! After I lose 2kg we go eat Prata okay! Mmmmmmmmm.

Oh by the way, these were taken ages ago, and I didn't wear my lenses out as I was plain lazy and didn't think we'd take photos. My eyes damn chinky cause I didn't have enough sleep. But I'm still posting :( Nevermind la, they also know I'm ugly, and we're good friends so it's okay >:)

These are the people I got close to during O'level period (: Also got Xinwei ah, but I can't find any photos of her -__- Sorry :(

Yijie's jawline! Wlao. Nice.

This is my bestfriend. She likes to fall. Her name is Sijing heh ;)

This guy here, damn wei ji and lame, called Lijie :D

Oh like to step also! HAHAHAH.

Oh, I remember hahahahaahh, then the bus jerked and I banged my head against the pole. SUPER LOUD. Then got a freaking big ass baluku and it was super red, all of us couldn't stop laughing :( And worst, next day met up, I KNOCK MY HEAD AGAINST THE CHAIR UNDER MY HOUSE. Seriously Ariel. Okay anyway back to photos.

The tall guy beside Lijie is a super nice guy called Yijie :D Wlao, see his jawline.

Lastly, this is our Mr Sui Bian, called Junhao! :D

These people mean quite a lot to me ah, even though someone after 2 years maybe don't even remember me already, cough cough. Going to steamboat and drink with them this Monday, so excited :D

By the way, I lost about 2 pounds since the past two days, so I'm feeling pretty awesome. (: I just need to lose a zillion more.

Fruit box.

2012-01-24T08:21:00.002+08:00

My body clock is fucked up. I didn't sleep the day before, and slept from 9pm to 3am yesterday, and have since been awake, it's currently 8.30am ._.

So how's the lunar new year so far? (:

I collected my pay check the other day with Angela. Lorry ftw! Then we went ice skating, heh, super fun. I'll post pictures of those soon! (:

Here are some from the first day of the new year! (:

Cheap dress at 6 bucks, omg. I can't stand myself, hahahahha.

My grand dad, who seems to like isolation ._.

My cousin! I swear my mom was damn epic. She asked us to take photos, then after that, simply because he put his arms around me for the photo, told us, "Remember ah, you all are cousins hor, cannot fall in love ah!" Damn siasuey, I literally facepalmed.

My brother's 5 years old (:

OMNOMNOM.

My cousins, aunt and uncle after they dolled up for visiting! (:

Then got these two super cute boys. SERIOUSLY DAMN CUTE. ""恭禧发财，红包拿来，没有红包，警察就来" , I laugh like shit, hahaha.

Okay bye! (:

Issues.

2012-01-23T07:06:00.001+08:00

I've lost 10kg since, and yet, I feel like there's no difference at all. I'm still just as fat. There are so many clothes I still can't fit into, and feel like I might never fit into. Worse still, I feel like I can lose another 10kg, and I am still going to be fat. I will.

Collarbones, Shoulder blades, Thigh gap, Flat stomach, Thin arms, will I ever achieve it? I feel like a failure sometimes. Just let me win for once?

I don't want to always feel so bad about myself. It's tiring.

Appreciation.

2012-01-21T02:53:00.002+08:00

Hello! Imma show you guys my dress, heheh. I love it so freaking much :)

The colours, the dye and the awesome layering of the dress ;D

So lovely right! I'm love it so much. I want to snuggle it and hug it to sleep! Nah I'm kidding. I'm like a retard over just a dress -coughs-

I'm gonna have a wordy post soon! Bye :)

Striving.

2012-01-19T02:34:00.003+08:00

Hello! Missed my smile? Me too.

Anyway! I've been out these few days! I got a little high at the class chalet and nursed a hangover the next day, haiyo. Met up Xinwei today, at Katong. Seriously, bus ride 2 hours, and I got lost. Fail. But it's okay I guess :) Sent her to Woodlands after that cause I'm an awesome friend! Chey nola, compliment myself only! :(

So I'm gonna bombard pictures of myself! If you don't want to have nightmares, please do take caution with images below.

Centre parting, good hairday :D

I freaking love my new shoes can. This photo doesn't do it justice!

My outfit for the day :D

I wanted to put this photo for my facebook dp, but L said the other one was nicer, oh well.

Oh and I bought my dress! It's so lovely, I swear. I already camwhored with it, heh. I'm gonna put it in another post! Probably blog it tomorrow. It's so freaking lovely!

Okay, that's all, goodnight! It's already 3am, I doubt I'm sleeping by 6am :(
And I'm meeting Teng and Jing at 12.30pm somemore! :(

Decisions.

2012-01-18T00:06:00.002+08:00

Things that should be left behind.

Are you my real friend?

I feel used. The only time you even bother contacting me for is only when you need something. It could be money, or just any other things, small of big. Otherwise, I doubt you even need to think of me. I don't like feeling how non-existent I am because of you. I don't like to feel like I exist only because you need something from me. It's fucking annoying.

You can't keep promises. It hurts. It's frustrating. Every time you break a promise, even if it's just a small one, it hurts and my trust levels get even lower than it did before. I'm someone with already very horrible trust issues, and it's simply just grotesque to try to make it worse. Even when I tell you, don't promise, you won't do it in the end. You insist you will, you fucking, fucking insist and screw me all over again. You say I condemn you, but then, why not you give me a reason not to? Prove it to me. You never do that.

You make me feel like the villain though I clearly know I was never the one(not saying that you are). You never admit the fact that you're wrong.

You never ask me out, I've tried asking you out, and you always find a way to not make it. -points to paragraph 3- Aren't friends supposed to make some effort to maintain the friendship? I'm trying.

You make me feel like shit.

You don't care about me, you don't. Take for example, if people leave me out in a group, a real friend notices and does something about it. She either leaves the group to accompany you alone at the back, or she tries to include you in the group. It's bad enough if a 'real' friend doesn't notice that you're left out, but worse if she does and chooses to do nothing about it. Worst still, if you yourself are fucking trying to include yourself and she shrugs you off like you're nothing. Where's your conscience? Are you true? It happened repeatedly and it's honestly making me feel like you're not even a friend or even a good person anymore, but who am I to judge on this person who breaks promises and doesn't give a fuck and uses others, right? We're all human.

What I'm saying is, I don't need people who make me feel like crap in my life. I don't like to feel worthless. It's just bullshit, all of it. And to be honest, I'm not even doing any of the above, you've done to me, to you. I'm being fucking nice in my opinion. Maybe that's why people take me for a pushover and take me for granted. It's okay, just leave the crappy parts to Ariel. She'll face it, and she won't be mad, and best of all, she won't leave. She'll just stupidly stay until everyone fucks her over again. You know, she's just the ugly friend who's always hanging out with the pretty girls(not necessarily my clique) so they can use her, any way they like, and in return, she can stay. As you can tell, she doesn't even belong with pretty girls.

Well, I'm tired of feeling like shit all the time. Thank you for using me, people who have. Thank you for not caring about/for me or my feelings. Thank you for taking me for granted. If that's all I am to you, please, get out of my life, and I'll gladly do the same. I don't need 'friends' who make me feel so small, so small that I don't even feel like I can be seen, or even exist.

I don't need people like this in my life.

-

2012-01-15T17:48:00.003+08:00

Obsessions.

Hey, sorry for the lack of posts, I'm recovering from being really sick. Off to the chalet soon, I guess? And hopefully will get some photos to make up for that :)

I have a new topic to talk about, so I'll definitely be back :)

Truth in time.

2012-01-11T17:58:00.005+08:00

So.. I got back my O'level results. I actually had no feelings whatsoever, like you know when everyone starts to freak out right before they get their results? I didn't feel that at all. And even after I got my results and looked at it, I'm just like, okay, this is my result slip. Can.

No disappointment, no happiness whatsoever. I feel so weird!

I don't know if my results are counted as very good, but it's definitely a good improvement I guess? And I doubt I really deserved results like that cause right before the O'levels, it was the period when Yijie, Lijie and me were like really close, and then Sijing and Xinwei and Junhao as well, and we went out almost everyday to study. Ahem, "study". And by that I mean do just one paper and then fool around at the playground, talk cock and play basketball. Heh.

I swear the results collection day was freaking funny. Sijing and i got caught for hair, and there were like 50-60 people caught? Then like ALL GUYS. Except us. Aiyo. Then Ifran damn funny, he seriously like was gonna beat up Kaddy Koh or something, LOL. I swear, it was worth not being in the hall, hahahahaha.

So that's the end, hopefully I can get into a course I won't regret, and I won't be forever alone in poly! :)

Learning.

2012-01-07T12:54:00.004+08:00

I ripped this story from 9gag. It really made me rethink of myself as a person with so many mistakes of not being a human being we were designed to be. Humane, loving, kind, appreciative instead of time, money and all about me.

In Washington DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 
2007, a man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. 
During that time, approximately 2000 people went through the station, 
most of them on their way to work.


After about four minutes,

A middle-aged man noticed that there was a 
musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, 
and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.


About four minutes later,

The violinist received his first dollar. A 
woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.


At six minutes,

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, 
then looked at his watch and started to walk again.


At ten minutes,

A three-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged 
him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, 
but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning 
his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other 
children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children 
to move on quickly.


At forty-five minutes:

The musician played continuously. Only six 
people stopped and listened for a short while. About twenty gave money 
but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total 
of $32.


After one hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one 
applauded. There was no recognition at all.


No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the 
greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate 
pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two 
days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats 
averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.


This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro 
Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social 
experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities.


This experiment raised several questions:


In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we 
perceive beauty?


If so, do we stop to appreciate it?


If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made,


How many other things are we missing?

Fool.

2012-01-06T00:34:00.000+08:00

Stole this photo from Mayvis! It was from the day we all went out! :D

Today was off to a disastrous start, but I can always count of my friends :)
It was a serious of unfortunate events, and I just felt really bad cause I think I wasted a lot of time. But yeah, thanks guys, I know I can always count on you all :D

Oh, plus, thank you to the honest person who found my wallet and returned it. I'm a very lucky girl, and you are a freaking awesome person :D

Shopping with Teng, G and Ruiyi today. Like a typical day ah :) Oh and yesterday, Xinwei, Teng, G and Ruiyi came over to my house. We ate and played and talked cock. Laughed much :D

As for me, I've been feeling very down and bad about myself lately. It's amazing how other people can make you feel so bad about yourself. You know what I mean? Let me describe the feeling. It's somewhere between feeling like you're never going to be good enough and stabbing myself to death. Yup, that's about it.

I need to sort myself out. I am one lost little kid. Maybe I'm just tired. We'll see. I'll blog with a story tomorrow. A really cool one, so read okay! :)

Life as a house.

2012-01-03T18:30:00.004+08:00

"I like how it feels not to feel."

"I know the feeling.", he replied.

"How do you become something that you're not?"

"Well, what would you like to be?"

"What I'm not."

"And what are you now?"

"I'm nothing," he answered quietly.

Feelings.

2012-01-03T00:08:00.003+08:00

Hello, sorry for being late, but Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :)
I just came back from Malaysia :) I ate a lot there -__- TIME TO REALLY LOSE WEIGHT ALR. LIKE THOSE 10KG PLANS HAHAHA.

Yeah anyway some photos! Celebrated Randyne's birthday the other day with the usual crowd! It was pretty fun, I brought Angela along as well :)

Eugene made me laugh like mad, seriously.

SO, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RANDYNE! :)

If you're wondering why all the photos can't see my face, only can see my body, it's because that day I looked really horrible ._.

Spent New Years with them as well, and other random people came, and like there were full of people I don't know. The only person I remember is Spencer, because he was funny LOL.

I think maybe I shouldn't drink with them anymore. It feels weird and the only reason I was there was because Dhruv wanted me there I guess? Like weird leh. Maybe the rest secretly hate me :O CHEY NOLA. But yeah, I don't know.

That's pretty much it, will update more soon, I need to take more photos!

Battling myself.

2011-12-25T05:02:00.007+08:00

Did you ever know that I love the rain? The rain is so beautiful.

I once saw a quote, "If I could, I would choose to be a raindrop. Because even if I fell, I wouldn't have to fall alone." OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? HAHA. My memory sucks balls.

But honestly. I love the rain. It can make me happy, it can make me feel better when I'm sad. I know it sounds terribly cliche, but I really love crying in the rain. I'm weird like that. I love how the rain makes me feel so free.

It seems so dumb that I'm here at 5am, blogging about my love for rain.

I love the sound of raindrops. You know, pitter patter, pitter patter. Soothing or what. I guess sometimes we have to slow down and appreciate the little things in life.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE THE RAIN.

Anyway, I ended my work at Nubox and got my Acer pay :) Nubox was awesome. Especially my colleagues. Carole, Keith, Daniel, Martin, Sanjit, Yun Tian, Jaslyn, Weiming, Cheok, Jong and even Monica. Yes of course Angela also. Hope I didn't miss anyone out? Seriously, the guys there, fucking hilarious. Had so much fun.

But yeah, guys being guys, they're pretty insensitive, and I'm being insecure that I look like a fucking dinosaur from Jurassic park -__- THANKS SIA. Nah, I kid. But I need to lose weight, urgh, fatty Ariel.

That's about it, Merry Christmas to you all :) I still don't believe in God though. It's too difficult to :)

Intentions.

2011-12-21T21:10:00.001+08:00

Hello! I'm at work now! Work is pretty fun and I've met awesome people!

Just to name a few, like Daniel! I think he's like super cool okay. He looks damn young but he's 22, with 2 kids already. Damn zai. He got married at 18 I think? Damn awesome I swear.

Then there's Keith, and he has a Winnie the Pooh tattoo! Cool right! And his hair, wah, zai. Spunky.

There's also Jaslyn! She's shorter than me >:) chey Nola, she's damn nice :D and she has pretty locks! ;D

Also there's Yun Tian! She's freakig pretty. I mean Angelina kind of pretty! And she has, ahem, prominent features. She's damn funny also!

Oh and today I almost died laughing when Cheok tied Angela's jacket sleeves together at the back. LAUGH LIKE SHIT OMG. Hilarious man, HAHAHAHAH.

So just a few happenings! Work's been pretty fun so far and I'm considering to work as Admin for Nubox in the future! :)

OKAY BYE! :)

Imagine.

2011-12-17T02:35:00.000+08:00

Hi, I've been away. Having a life. CHEY.
No but seriously. I haven't been home slacking my day away. I've gone out like every bloody day, I'm so exhausted :(

So here are some photos!
I went to makan buffet with Gillian Weiteng and Sijing! Simin met us later on :)
Seriously, fucking love how we all laugh like mad, I swear. Sometimes I can't believe how freaking lucky I am to have them and friendships so true. I am a lucky girl :D

My hair ;D

L FOR LIJIE! But Lijie... OKAY CAN. More photos with Simin and G, they haven't uploaded :(

I know I look like some Ru Hua but who the fuck cares it's funny HAHAHAHA.

Drowning victim #1

I look damn ugly when I laugh, but what to do! Seriously, my life is awesome.

After that we hung out and laughed even more, and then we visited Mayvis! :) OMG OMNOMNOM ICE CREAM.

On a separate day, I met up with Lijie and we went to visit Sijing and Mayvis, ICE CREAM AGAIN ;) Ended up on some adventure, awesome one by the way, but the day ended quite badly. Okay can.

I also went out with Angela and Simin! We caught "Apple of my eye". Nicest show all year, hilarious fuck. Then Zitao came to join us and we played pool :D

By the way Angela, "I am so lonely, I'm Mr Lonely~" You damn retarded I swear :P

I CAN HAS DOUBLE EYELIDS OKAY.

Also we had our lit outing! Which was awesome, heh. Why is Ms Tan so awesome? She's like the best teacher, ever.

She bought an ice cream cake for Nizam's birthday and she treated us to Swensens, mmmm.

Oh, and the same day, I stayed over at Huda's. We watched Gossip Girl :D Like cool okay. I miss Huda, I know you're reading this! ;)

Few other things, went out with Jiaying and Ruiqi for swimming and "Already Famous", I miss them :)

Then also went out with Yijie, Yijie, yes, both of them. Plus Lijie and Sijing and Mayvis and Parry to celebrate Mayvis' birthday!

Lastly, had an early Christmas party last week. Lots of people went. It was Javier's Chalet. HIS BROTHER DAMN CUTE. LELE. LELE. LELE. And I don't think I dislike Javier anymore now. Yeah, long story. Those who knows will know. Then as usual, I drank. A lot. Let's not go there.

The guys to girl ratio was horrible. Only Emilia, Tiffany and me were the girls. Like15 other freaking guys were there. or something. Lazy to count. Got to know Tiffany better, which was pretty cool.

Nizam! "Shawty's love is like a _______!"

I've also worked at Nubox Carnival, met really rocking people. On our last day had food and laughed until we probably died 10 times HAHAHA. Gonna meet them up soon :D

Now I'm working for Nubox, the outlet. Come visit! Thanks for all that have came, freaking a lot, Angela keeps saying I have a lot of friends LOL. But yeah, she knows who are true :)

Working with Angela is killing me. SHE MAKES ME LAUGH AND ACT LIKE A RETARD LIKE ALL THE TIME HAHAHA.

-slap; super drama- "Urgh, you slap me? :O"

"How many rice you eat? How many hair you have?"

"Talk to the hand. Talk to the pinkie finger. PINKIE PROMISE!"

I just will die sooner of later, HAHAHA.

My December has been fully booked :(
Now to 24th is for work, 25th I have Christmas dinner, 26th to 30th I'm off to Malaysia, 31st is for USS with Sijing, Mayvis and co. Then 1st is to send Mayvis off to Aus!

So that's about it, bye!

Leave. Just go.

2011-12-09T17:12:00.000+08:00

Comparisons.

2011-12-06T14:34:00.004+08:00

Hello, I'm here now :D

Some updates, I've been working at the IT fair SITEX and Nubox Apple Tampines Mall! Damn tiring but I'm so excited for my pay. I counted already, so greedy right. Don't buy Apple produts, damn expensive bodoh. Ipad cheapest $668 nia. OH GOT CUTE GUY K. His name called Edmund. LOL.

Drama at work. Buay tahan. Those who read my twitter will know la. But it's just small drama. Epic.

Anyway thanks to everyone who came to visit me at work, a lot of people man, thanks :D

Went out with G the other day also, aiyo, supper nights with Sijing, life has just been happening after O's. No break at all.

I feel more tired than I did during the O'level period!

Met great people at work, Lesmin, Clara, Sharifah. Martin is the best boss ever. Had so many laughs there I thought I would die. Prolly going clubbing and shopping with them as well, soon ah :)

Yesterday went out with Angela, Simin and Zitao joined us later. Movie, played pool and everything. Zai okay. Got locked out of my house yesterday case everyone was asleep when I got home -__-

Yeah, then tomorrow will be out with my girls. I love the holidays and I can't freaking wait for more of December!

So yeah, photos here! More to come, I'm just pretty lazy to upload ;)

I will definitely blog again soon! Note to self. Take more photos :(

What about?

2011-12-05T03:27:00.003+08:00

I feel so bad. I know you guys regularly visit my blog these days, though I haven't been updating. I've been working and working.

Soon, promise. Thanks for keeping my daily views on 40views/day for now, I will blog soon!

Short Update!

2011-11-28T01:14:00.000+08:00

Hey. It's been almost a week. So I'm finally over prom. I didn't look all that great. Losing 4.7kg wasn't enough. Though it's kinda awesome that people tell me I look like I lost weight :D

OH and I didn't camwhore during Prom, fucking wasted please :(

Anyway, prom seemed too short. I finally took a photo with Red^2. HAH. Finally to reveal who he is even though everyone already knows. And he bleached his hair. Wtfffff. But he's still handsome k. Graduate alr ah, so I just post. WLAO HANDSOME PLEASE.

Had fun with my girls, even though some of them worried me out. Especially Gillian, Simin and Sijing.

I know Xinwei had a fun time, right Prom queen? ;)
Also finally LiJie and Xinwei are together. They were really sweet, just for the record.

Seems like a lot happened right? Not the least.

After Prom, I went to the prom party while Sijing went out with GZX LOL. Chey no la, and others.

I got drunk and now that I'm sober, I think I just want to bury my head in the ground. For like, forever maybe? I feel, so, fucking, ridiculous.

I can't even remember what I did. I just know that I need to thank Emilia, Huda and Parry. I think Jinleong too? Oh and Dhruv made me cry. Yeah. The happy kind of cry.

I regret chugging with like, almost everyone. And fuck okay, got fucking a lot of people. I will never get so drunk again. I can't even remember what the fuck happened. I don't even remember puking. Must have been so freaking unglam. As if I'm not ugly enough already la.

So yeah, I'm fucked right now, but I'm gonna deal with crap as I go along. I promise to post more pictures soon, I'm working now and deprived of sleep and exhausted :( When I'm free I'll upload plenty of stuff :) By the way the Melacca trip was kinda good :D

I'LL BLOG AGAIN SOON. TILL THEN, LOVE YOU GUYS, THANKS :)

Stand up.

2011-11-26T00:30:00.001+08:00

"You're beautiful on the inside, and that's all that matters."



This is what everyone tells me. You want to know what I hear when
people say that?



"You're ugly on the outside. I'm feel so sorry for you but I can't
tell you directly. Life is going to suck for you, but you have to deal
with it I'm afraid. It's just how it is. No one can change that."



I'm afraid. I'm crying as I write this.



I'm really afraid.



I'm afraid of living in the world when I have to feel so insecure all
the time.



I'm just really really tired. Exhausted.



I don't want to be this way. I hate it.



I don't want to feel so bad about being me. I'm me. And yet I'm afraid
of staying me.



It's a lie when people say the personality matters most. Lies.



When you meet someone new, you know nothing about them. You judge them
by how they look. If you're ugly, they just won't bother to ger to
know you. Period.

It doesn't matter how nice you are. No one fucking
cares. No one fucking bothers taking the time to get to know you and
find out about it.



You are not important if you aren't pretty.



You're not worth it.



I'm so afraid. I'm scared. I'm terrified.



I can't live life this way.



I don't want to look around and see everyone get what I would die to
have. To have everything I ever wanted. To feel special. To feel like
I matter.



Do I?



I'm a mess. Crying and sobbing and all. Ridiculous no?



I look uglier when I cry. I should know that best.



Goodnight.

2011-11-20T00:07:00.000+08:00

If a guy ever looks at me this way, I'd never ever give him up. Ever.

Winged Cupid is painted blind.

2011-11-19T00:02:00.001+08:00

Why judge?

I can.

2011-11-18T22:26:00.003+08:00

One man believes he is stupid.

One hundred men believe that they are idiots.

Now, I can safely say that a hundred and one people have faith.

Channel it into something good. Everything starts with a little hope and belief.

Back to square one.

2011-11-15T00:42:00.004+08:00

Hi, what I've been up to the past week.

I sent my brother to Pulau Tekong for his army! Like not bad leh. Looks fun :>

So bye brother, have fun at army! I can't wait to see your botak head ;)

I went Prawning with Xinwei, Lijie, Junhao and Yijie :D

After that we went to drink a little, freaking funny, we all ended up looking like guan gong cause our faces became red LOL. My slippers broke and I walked barefooted from East Coast Park to Pasir Ris, knn. Almost no bus to take already LOL.

Then on another day, I went to play pool and bowling with Xinwei and Lijie :D People gave us free ice cream :D

And today is the official last paper. I scored 39/40 for my MCQ, I feel quite proud of myself :D I didn't really study except 24 hours before when i went to stayover at Sijing's again so yeah, I thought I deserved to flunk, but I didn't :D

I really want my science to jump from a C5 to A1. I feel excited for result day now :D

Anyway after that, Sijing, Simin and me went to Arab street to do our hair! I dyed mine :D Min and Jing said it was nice but I'm not used to it. Jing's hair is nice and min's dyeing next week ;D

Photos all with them! Will post them next time! Out with Gillian tomorrow :) Will remember to take photos! :D Goodnight! :D

People.

2011-11-10T15:46:00.003+08:00

“When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”

I have those days. You know, days like this.

Then, i have days when I feel like this.

And probably, everyday, when I feel like I have to be like this.

Look at the gap between her thighs.

Look at the thin arms.

And her flawless tummy.

I've tried telling myself that,

But I feel like I'm just trying to deceive myself. I mean, look. I'm afraid to become the girl on the right. I know it's superficial of me, but I can't help it. Everyone is superficial, not just me.

And most days, I just end up feeling like,

Developing a challenged fear about these objects.

Telling myself it's my fault that people cannot appreciate me.

Yeah, I think I worry too much, hah. People keep telling me I'm not ugly, that I have a beautiful personality. What matters is on the inside. I just can't believe those words from the bottom of my heart and most days, i just end up feeling like I'm not good enough, never will be, and I'm not worth it.

Alright, I've spent really long on this blog post, before I go, I'm just going to post a little about Cassie. Goodbye guys :)

Cassie is so beautiful and she didn't even need to starve. She's already so thin. Sid shouldn't have treated her the way he did. She's beautiful, both inside and out. I love her :)

“Cassie,

I’m shit with words everything always comes out so crap. But I’ve been doing some thinking and everything is getting clearer.

The thing is Cass, I’ve woken up this morning and the sun’s shining through the window and it’s making me think of you.

Cassie, it’s not right, you hiding away in that clinic. You’ve got to get out in the world.

Cassie, I don’t care if you think you’re odd, because I feel like singing when I see you, and you’re beautiful, and I’ve been such a fuckin’ chapstick these past few weeks, and all I want to do this morning is sit on top of Brandon hill and hold you and tell you how wonderful you are,

and I love you.

Sid x”

Me, Myself and I.

2011-11-07T17:05:00.002+08:00

I feel like I haven't done a proper post in a while. So, today's topic.

Loneliness.

I'm lonely. I can't lie.

I don't like feeling lonely, because it kinda makes me sad? :(

I've always been the kind that was quite alone growing up, you know, the one walking alone, without friends to hang, the substitute that's always there because I just am?

I mean, since young it's always been this way for me. Not totally but it's been for almost as long as I can recall. People I love tend to go away, whether they like it or not. I blame myself for that.

I don't mind being alone, but I mind being lonely.

I never really felt like I belonged anywhere, if you know what I mean. I'm different, and I doubt I mean it in a good way. I always feel like I'm in the middle, because I don't clearly belong anywhere. And even though people always tell me they are there for me, I feel like I can't really depend on anyone but myself now.

I know it's weird and I think it's just me. I feel like I can't rely on anyone by myself, because the only person I can trust is myself. I'm insecure. I admit.

Am I the only one?

I'm forever feeling that I have no one around much because I'm ugly. It's called a free friend repellent LOL. I can't help but feel like people would treat me nicer if I were pretty, or I would actually mean something to them.

I mean, it's complicated to explain, but is it so wrong that I wish for people to cherish me for who I am? I'm just tired of being kicked around and left behind.

Tired of being invisible.

Tired of being forgotten.

Do any of you feel like that too? Let me know through my formspring or something.

Anyway, thanks for listening. Love you guys. Raise my stats to the way they were before okay! ^^V

Bye!

Magic

2011-11-06T01:54:00.000+08:00

Hi, don't know if I've posted this photo before but I haven't got any recent photos so yeah.
O'level is over, you smiling? I AM :D

This blog isn't dead. I need to regain my, at least, 30 views/day again :(

Will be updating soon! Holidays will be a blast for me, so if you have nothing better to do just read my blog everyday okay. Chey machiam insulting you say you no life. Joking la ^^V

Gonna meet Sijing soon and I haven't bathed, AIYA, K BYE!

Ps, I will blog soon.

-

2011-11-05T15:53:00.000+08:00

Hi Evangeline :) I don't know if you still read my blog! But I hope you do :D
I was looking through old photos and I found quite a few with you, and it occurred to me that we kinda drifted apart. Although we weren't really very close, but yeah, we still drifted.

I know that there was a time that was seriously full of drama, and I'm not gonna rake up the past, whatever it is. I just hope that you can understand yourself best, and I'm always there if you need me, ya? :)

All the best for your sciences :)

Calling.

2011-11-04T12:19:00.000+08:00

Maybe what I'm worth, is just this light and easily blown away.

Camouflage.

2011-11-02T20:38:00.000+08:00

Everyone knows me,

and yet, not a single person does.

Irony.

2011-10-27T20:33:00.000+08:00

Hurt.

2011-10-26T22:00:00.001+08:00

Hopeless.

2011-10-23T19:47:00.000+08:00

Isn't this what family is supposed to be like?

Life is good.

2011-10-19T19:56:00.002+08:00

Hi. I haven't taken nice photographs in a while so I hope this makes up for it :) I love my nails and I miss them so much :(

I've been studying lately, kinda. The beginning of O'levels are tomorrow and I'm worried. I know it was already impossible to get into the 9-pointer psychology but it doesn't mean I still am not disappointed over it.

I shouldn't be torturing you guys with my rant. Today was a good day because of ___________________________________. Yup. So here's what I've been up to!

I went to celebrate my mom's birthday :)

Studying with these 2 guys and Xinwei and Sijing :) Recently Junhao came to join us :D

I've also graduated. These four years with my girls really meant the world to me. It's so great that we've stuck through together all these time despite all those though times we faced :) I absolutely adore and love them so much.

Stayed over at Xinwei's! Someone slept like pig!

Yup, that sums up more or less. I'll be back with more updats after O's, promise. I have so many things I want to do now. Just less than one month and I'll be able to do them all :D I lined up regular updates so my blog won't be so dead :) Keep visiting okay!

Lastly, anyone reading my blog despite the O's, I wish you all the best too! :D

Awakening.

2011-10-13T23:37:00.002+08:00

I got this from Marc's tumblr. I find this really interesting. If it were true, what would you do? How would you feel and would you change?

“The Egg” by Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

Think of all the people you've made happy. All the people you've made fun of. All the people that you've hurt. What if you found out you were them? Really gives a chance to reflect huh?

Fears.

2011-10-13T00:59:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wondered about the things we tell ourselves before we fall asleep?

We whisper the words in the dark, telling ourselves that we're happy, that he's happy, that people will change their minds.

We persuade ourselves that we can live without the people who have left.

Each night, before we fall asleep, we lie to ourselves in a desperate hope that come morning, it will all be true.

Mixed signals.

2011-09-29T00:33:00.001+08:00

Do you still care?

I thought.

2011-09-25T23:59:00.003+08:00

Hey, so if you didn't know, I have a duplicate.

Plus, because I'm too hot, only me would suit me, so we're together, mwah ;)

Hah, okay, why am I so lame.

Spammed photos in the library the other day with these awesome people :) We are retarded but that's perfectly okay :D

I look like an alien. I fucking swear.

I've been studying really hard, really. I feel so nerdy. My prelim results weren't that good, but according to the stats, I've made a 3 point improvement! This year is the only year my results have actually improved because I really studied. So that's a good thing? Plus my L1B4 is finally below 20! #ProudGirl95

There will be the Post-Prelims Programme in 9 hours time, and I'm really not looking forward to it. There'll be an hour lunch break and another half an hour of random break and I really believe I'm gonna end up alone at those times, which is a horrible feeling truthfully. Imagine people shiok shiok happy happy go lunch outside school together then like you forever alone loitering in the school. Oh well.

Yea, and here are some other overdue photos!

Love this photo so much.

Anyway, here's some words I want to say to you but I cant'. You should know it's you.

Dear you,

I'm sorry I've been such a bitch the past few weeks. Would you believe me if I said I couldn't help it? I doubt so. It's just me. I always have this alarm set up, and I really let it down when we got close. We always waited for each other after classes and we always ended up partners for group activities and all. But now, it's like I'm all alone. I know you're happy with you friends, and I know they're closer to you, but I just thought we had something special too. Maybe it was just me. I don't know.

I know it's hard for you to try to balance your friendships, and I know I should be more understanding, but I just can't. I'm trying. But I just can't be okay if I'm option to you or something. I'm the kind that shuts down when I'm hurt. I can't talk to anyone and I need to be alone. More so I can't be with you alone because I'll just shut down there and then, and everything will turn really awkward.

I'm afraid of talking to you because I'm afraid I'll just give myself some hope that actually you'd be there when I need someone. It'll hurt so much more.

I know I shouldn't expect anything from you because expectations lead to disappointment, but I just can't do it. I'm too lousy.

I guess every friendship does have an expiry date, and maybe we've lost the strong bond we've once shared so well, but I want you to know that you are still important to me, and I'm not blaming you or anything, but I just want to explain to you why I've been such a bitch these days.

You are still important to me.

I love you. Mtywek.

With love, me.

Walking away.

2011-09-23T01:11:00.002+08:00

Hello. Not the best photo I've got since I look quite horrible. But today is quite a good day minus the ending part. It's 1.09am and I'm hungry now in bed, blogging. Enjoy Friday tomorrow. I hope I will too :)

We lost it all. Or at least I did.

2011-09-21T19:14:00.000+08:00

We treat some people like oxygen, we need them in our life, but we address them like they weren't even there.

What goes through your mind?

2011-09-18T02:57:00.003+08:00

"If you're afraid of everyone leaving you, what do you do?"

'Make them stay.'

"And if you can't do that, or don't know how to?"

Ellie shrugged. 'I don't know.'

"Yes you do. In fact you've done it. You leave first," Coop said, "so you don't have to watch them walk away."

It's a dead end.

2011-09-13T17:51:00.002+08:00

Hi, having prelims these few days. I am so exhausted. Not really gonna write much! I just wanted to know if anyone's interested in getting a pair of lovely brown wedges from me.

I got them for a good friend's birthday but the size didn't fit well :( And I haven't got her a new present yet, fail to the max, super long already :(

Yeah, so if you want the wedges, let me know! It's light brown shade with floral prints inside, matched with thick laces. It feels like soft leather, but it's definitely not leather. LOL.

It's written there size 35, but I'm 38-40 and I can wear it :D Totally new, I've only worn it once to like try out how it feels like and fits. TELL ME IF YOU'RE INTERESTED. The price can be lowered :)

SO PRETTY RIGHT. I WANT TO DIE. HAHA. Okay, gotta go, BYE!

Don't take him just because you can.

2011-09-08T19:33:00.002+08:00

I haven't done a wordy post in a while!

Today's topic, What defines a slut?

I think the term "slut" is used too loosely. I really detest the word "slut", because I think this word is seriously very degrading to people. Even though "slut" has become a word I use to replace "fuck" nowadays, I still hate myself when i use it. At least I don't use it to call people, I just use it in the context where I would usually say "fuck" or "bitch" or "chaocheebye" , etc.

I'm gonna stop the bad habit of saying "slut". I think even "fuck" is better -.-

Anyway, I'm doing this post because I really want to give my opinion of what is a slut, and why I hate it when it's used it the wrong context.

Like example, once Ruiyi had called one of our mutual friends a slut, but the mutual friend was still a virgin -__- so yeah, it's like this kind of situations I find is quite insulting to the other person la :/

So, what is a slut?

Someone who sleeps around a lot?

But how much? And with who?

Nowadays in our society, virginity isn't worth much. Not individually, but in a society as a whole.

For example, I may say, "hey I will remain a virgin until I am married", which means virginity is important to me. But it is ONLY to me. But society as a whole, many people has already lost their virginity in their teens/before they marry. So as a whole, virginity doesn't mean much.

Hence I think that just because a person has lost their virginity, it does not make them a slut.

So are you thinking, what about sex with multiple people, really often, and without really caring about it?

But what if the person just really likes sex. To the extent of making sure that there is no personal attachment and is clear with each partner that they’re not in a relationship.

Meaning that person just like sex like how someone else likes watching tv, etc. Watching tv doesn't make you a tv-whore, who why does having sex make one a slut?

My point is, if you really break it down, what is a slut?

Wikipedia: Slut (n.) or slattern is a pejorative term for a person who is deemed sexually promiscuous that first appeared in Middle English in 1402 as slutte with the meaning "a dirty, untidy, or slovenly woman." The modern sense of "a sexually promiscuous woman" dates to at least 1450.

Right. So then best to define promiscuous and figure we use slut because it’s shorter and sounds meaner.

From Oxford: promiscuous (adj.) characterized by or involving indiscriminate mingling or association, esp. having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.

Same questions: how many partners? How casual a basis? Is “mingling” what we're calling it these days? But there’s a word in there that hones on in what, to me, is the difference between sexually liberal and slutty: indiscriminate.

Mmm. So then, indiscriminate (adj.): lacking in care, judgment, selectivity, etc. Synonyms: haphazard, random, arbitrary.

It suggests a complete lack of care or thought is involved. You’re not applying real feeling or even sound decision to the sexual acts or relations. You’re just doing it for whatever instant need or desire pops up: to make someone jealous, to not feel lonely the next morning, to prove you can, or just to get off. The other person is barely involved.

So next time someone mentions that _______ hooked up with ________ again, think twice before crying “slut”. Consider first whether she was selective in this move. Note whether she applied care and thought. Ask, was she simply expressing her feminist self or did she do it to prove she could?

Chances are this one act doesn’t make ________ a slut. It probably just makes her stupid.

I got a lot of the information from http://20-nothings.blogspot.com/2008/09/what-defines-slut.html , I was googling what defines a slut because the whole day I keep seeing the word "slut" on my twitter -.-

So please, think twice the next time you call someone slut. Just because they're not a virgin, or they have many boyfriends they've made love to, does not mean that they are sluts. In my mind, I cannot think of anyone I know that should be labelled as that, and I hope you don't either.

Innocence.

2011-09-06T18:18:00.001+08:00

A soldier's little girl, whose father was being moved to a distant post, was sitting at the airport among her family's meager belongings.

The girl was sleepy. She leaned against the packs and duffel bags.

A lady came by, stopped, and patted her on the head. "Poor child," she said. "You haven't got a home."

The child looked up in surprise. "But we do have a home," she said. "We just don't have a house to put it in."

You make me smile.

2011-09-04T19:10:00.005+08:00

What's up? :)
I've been a really lazy girl. I have not studied at all the past.. Idk, month?
I need to wake up -bangs head against wall-

I stayed over at Ruiqi's the other day :D We went to school together, you jelly? :D
I need to go out with her soon :( I realised we didn't take photos at all that day :(

I've went back to my primary school with Simin, Zitao and Angela. We explored the whole school. It was pretty fun :D Except I didn't get to see S :'(
Yeah so we went to catch Rise of the Apes after that and slacked at Manpuku :)

On Friday the girls and I went to celebrate Teng's birthday at swensens, IT, WAS, SO, AWESOME. We had a S R Nathan waiter hahah.
We slacked at the airport for super long. Hope Teng really enjoyed herself :D
It was a really fun day for all of us :D I laughed until I wanted to die man.
Many more photos will be uploaded when my lazy levels decrease.
I hope Baggy gets well soon too :/

I love my girls :)

By the way, dessert was the best. Right girls? :D

Lastly, if I hadn't said yet, coursework has come to an end. I'll be pretty sad because I won't be seeing much of Lijie, Yijie, Tarmidzi and Janine :( Design and Tech lessons will be really boring without them. Especially since I'm not particularly close to anyone in Design and Tech class #fail.

I'M GOING TO MISS THEM SO MUCH. ESPECIALLY L AND Y. They really make me want to die laughing. Hours fly by with them. I realised I didn't even manage to get photos of/with them :( Yijie took the photo below, I don't look that fat ah :D

By the way, my nails are now light purple pandas! Ultimate love.

That's all, by the way my phone bill reached almost $100, so I'm broke for the month. Cycling to school from Pasir Ris to Tampines and having $1 for Breakfast, lunch and dinner ftw!

GOODNIGHT! :)

Society.

2011-09-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

Pretty people are happy people.

Roller Coaster Ride.

2011-08-30T20:22:00.004+08:00

I'm in love with Pacman. You jelly?

I've been sick.

I've been sick for a while now.

With...

BIEBER FEVER!!

Nah, I'm just kidding :)

But seriously. I am sick -.-

Anyway I so had the feeling to blog just now but I lost it. Alamak. So it's just gonna be an update. I've still been buried in coursework, tomorrow is gonna be the last day until the theory paper, which according to Mr Hazmi, means, "FREEDOMMM!" hahaha.

Also went to the flea near the Singapore Flyer with Min, Jing, G, Ruiyi to get Teng's present. She wouldn't know ;D We bought really nice stuff for her! :D Then we went to Vivo as well :)

Oh, and, The awkward moment when you're trying to feed the fishes and turtles but you bend down too low and dropped your shades into the pond where the organisms are residing at and everyone stares at you and laughs. *acts innocent*

Yeah G, KARMA!! Nah, love you :)

Oh, and it was Lijie's birthday yesterday. Happy birthday :) We went to eat at KFC after coursework, saw Benedict, awkward. We ended up talking nonsense for two hours. It was a fun day :D Andy has also kinda been my texting buddy these few days and I swear it is so funny to text him.

Anyway, school tomorrow, that's pretty much it for the week.

Wishing Janine and Tarmidzi all the best for their performance on Thursday, I'm so excited :D

Okay, lastly do you wish that you can just, you know, magically have some super brain so you can pass O'levels with flying colours? I'm still wishing for that every bloody day. Naive.

THAT'S IT. GOODNIGHT. TRY NOT TO MISS ME TOO MUCH ;)

-

2011-08-28T01:02:00.004+08:00

Popular girls:

Popular boys:

Me and my friends:

Credits to tumblr. If you didn't know I have a tumblr, mine is
Diamond Dandelions.

Human Nature.

2011-08-27T22:54:00.003+08:00

The other day, I was having a literature class when my teacher made a passing remark that we often bargain with God.

"Dear God, if you let me pass this test, I promise. I promise I'll go to church every single week."

"Dear God, if you let all the problems in my life go away, I promise I'll be good."

"Dear God, if you let me get out of this without much trouble, I promise I'll memorise every verse of the bible."

The list goes on and on and on.

I find it so true.

I have bargained with God, countless of times too.

But the things is, most of the time, even if, so-called, God lets the thing you wish for happen, do you fulfill your promise back to God?

I didn't think so.

Not just that, but is bargaining with God even part of the religion package?

Food for thought, guys.

Lost Generation.

2011-08-21T19:57:00.000+08:00

A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for her at the door.

‘Mummy, may I ask you a question?’ her son said.

‘Yeah sure, what it is?’ replied the woman.

‘Mummy, how much do you make an hour?’

‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the woman said angrily.

‘I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

‘If you must know, I make $50 an hour.’

‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down, disappointed. ‘Mummy, may I please borrow $25?’

The mother was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.’

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25, and he really didn’t ask for money very often.The woman went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

‘Are you asleep, son?’ She asked.

‘No Mummy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy.

‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the woman. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $25 you asked for.’

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you Mummy!’ he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother.

‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the mother grumbled.

‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.

‘Mummy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.’

The mother was crushed. She put his arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness.

We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Don't be like the others.

2011-08-20T21:05:00.003+08:00

Hi. I wanted to ask you guys if you missed my ugly face, but I think you all will box me. LOL. Okay, old photo. Sorry i haven't been updating. Probably not gonna anytime soon. I've put in future posts. When I have time, I will update :D

Coursework is due in 6 days. Prelims in 1 day. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Also, I know I always joke around but I wanna tell Yijie to not get discouraged over his results and continue working hard for his other subjects. Don't keep saying die already, confirm go ITE. I know he can one la, he's actually super smart okay. Yeah, but I can't say this to his face to face cause I think it's weird -.- But yeah. Add oil Mr Jie Ge. LOLOLOL.

OKAY GOODNIGHT.

It's enough.

2011-08-20T19:49:00.002+08:00

The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps.

She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.

It had been a year since Susan, thirty-four, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity.

Once a fiercely independent woman, Susan now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, help-less burden on everyone around her. "How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth her sight was never going to return.

A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion. And all she had to cling to was her husband Mark. Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all of his heart.

When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again.

Mark's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face.

Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there?

She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.

At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working it was hectic, and costly.

Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?

Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me."

Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it.

And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment.

He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. He made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus, or drop her briefcase full of papers on the aisle floor.

Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own.

He believed in her, in the Susan he used to know before she'd lost her sight, who wasn't afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit.

Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend.

Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, and his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself.

On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you."

Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year?

Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?"

The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and protected like you are."

Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and again asked, "What do you mean?"

The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentlemen in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus.

He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."

Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks.

For although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence.

She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.

Laughter.

2011-08-17T23:59:00.001+08:00

How can I not love these girls?

Losing.

2011-08-14T20:41:00.002+08:00

Hello! I had some fun celebrating national day with Joshua, Tori and Wenxuan! :)

We had some drinks and I think Wenxuan and Joshua got kinda high for a while LOL. Wanted to reach home by 12am because it's 7th month but in the end failed, reached home around 1am :)

Just gonna post some pictures, the rest are on facebook :)

FAIL.

More photos are with this guy *points above*, gonna post them if I get them :)

That's all, goodnight! :)

Who decides?

2011-08-13T19:12:00.002+08:00

By now, I think many people already know that I'm not a believer. I don't believe in God.

But I've been thinking. Has it always been my choice to never believe in god? I don't know actually.

I used to think that I never believed in God because I felt that it was too good to be true. No one can ever be so perfect and everything, harbor no hatred towards anyone who has done him wrong and just really love someone else.

I've said it many times, and here it is again. I feel like God is just like Santa Claus, but for adults. It's something that makes you happy even if it's a lie.

For example, when someone dies, a Christian says, he/she has gone to heaven to be with God. She is at peace, yada yada yada. But in fact, this dead person is buried 6 feet underneath the earth, rotting away. Get what I'm trying to say? It's like a white lie that we make to ourselves.

But I realize that I talk to God a lot when I'm on my own. I pray unconsciously, I thank God unconsciously. I interact with God a lot when I'm on my own.

So why do I still not believe in God?

It just dawned on me, that maybe I know that there is a God. Just maybe. But it's just that I have chosen not to believe in him.

Because it'll be so much more right to do so.

I mean, God is a great person, as everyone loves to describe him. He helps those in need, bring joy to everyone.

But look at the world. People are dying of starvation. People are suffering from disasters. People are dying. Even in a society like ours, people get raped daily, people lose their parents in divorces, accidents. They cut, they cry, they just stay in this constant bout of sadness. People care about only themselves.

So let's say if I believe that God exists. All this shit, I'll fucking put all the blame on God. All these sadness. Because he's supposed to help, but he's not.

Hence I think it's so much easier to blame humans instead. Car accident? Blame driver. Fat? Blame self. Cancer? Blame smokers(LOL). People dying of starvation? Blame the rich who don't give a hand. It just seems more right to me this way.

And maybe I do believe in God. Just a little, even if I think it isn't right. The fact is, I don't really know.

But if there is a God, I sure hope he'd help out the world just a bit more so people wouldn't suffer as much. Help people to go the right way in life. That money isn't everything, love is. Looks isn't as important as personality. Selfishness is a sin. Sharing is caring.

Okay wait. The last one was from Sharity elephant one.

But yeah, you get my point? That's all I'm trying to say.

Also if I have Christian friends reading this, I hope you aren't offended. I just can't bring myself to believe in God right now(or ever) because I think he's a bunch of bullshit. Sorry.

Okay. That's all. Just wanted to let my views out. I'm still an Atheist, and I doubt it's changing soon. Goodnight :)

CRAVINGS!

2011-08-08T17:30:00.003+08:00

Hello. I have SOOOOO many cravings right now. Like, Seriously. Food, Y U SO TEMPTING! I wanna eat em all but I can't! :'(
So I'm gonna list them all down with pictures and make you hungry too! >:)

If you're fasting now, come back to read after you break fast okay! Because the food is seriously mouthwatering and I don't wanna feel bad for making you hungry cause you're fasting :(

So here goes!

DAIM. CHOCOLATE WITH HARD CARAMEL INSIDE. OMG.

EGG SUSHI, NOMNOMNOM.

MAGNUM.

HEH ICE CREAM, ALL FLAVOURS! EPS YAM, RASPBERRY AND CHOCOLATE.

BACON STRIPS. Reminds me of the Epic Meal Time guy :D

Potato wedges!

LAYS, Sour Cream and Onion :B

McSPICY!

BEEF BOWL FROM YOSHINOYA. OMG SIJING.

RIBS. DROOLS.

SCALLOPS!!

Scrambled eggs, but only from Japan, because they have the best scrambled eggs there :D

KATONG LAKSA!

TEMPURA 8D Reminds me of Lijie TROLOLOL.

UDON :D

I, will, kill, someone, for, this. Nachos.

Caramel Frappe from Starbucks :P

Oreo Cheesecake :')

Chocolates, a girl's best friend and worst enemy *shakes head*

Cinnamon melts.

Mac, and, fucking, cheese.

Curry chicken and rice from Water Rise. Gillian!

Last of all, Cheese fucking fries.

Are you as hungry as me yet? Omggggg. Please grant me some magic powers to be able to eat these foods and not grow fat, then I will finally eat them with joy and I'll eat them everyday HAHAHA. Okay, That's all for now, BYE.

How much I try never seems to be enough for you.

2011-08-06T20:57:00.003+08:00

Sorry for not updating! I'm back with some pictures!
I've been really busy, I swear. Coursework, banding and all. It's draining all the energy I have, and it's been ages since I used the computer :(

I just want to say despite the tiring intensive coursework, I'm really glad I made fast friends with Lijie, Yijie and Tarmidzi :D
Honestly. Like before that I think I was sooooo friendless during coursework and forever alone. Now I'm super glad I have them to laugh with me for hours :D
And thanks to Nicholas because he has been waiting for me after coursework to bus home together although bus 81 inconveniences him :)

I also went for Auditions with Ruiqi and Tarmidzi :) We all tried solos ah. I freaking forgot lyrics. Failure in life. But otherwise, it was pretty good I guess?

AND MY LITTLE BROTHER GOT 2 NEW TURTLES! :) Umm but one died of pheunomia(sp). It was sick by the time he bought it :( I'm so freaked out. I found her body and he hasn't buried it yet for 3 days.

Oh I went to work with Jasmine as well! As Marina Square area. Tiring fuck, but yeah, 2 days only get $120 :) Ms Ang saw me and told the whole world about it -__- 2 DAYS ONLY. And I stayed back till 7pm everyday just to do coursework so I could be free those 2 days! :(

Not forgetting the Literature debate! I have a trophy :D Loads on photos to post on that as well. Soon I hope?

Went to Jaslene's house a few days ago with Sijing and we studied till 11pm plus. Okay they studied. Not me -__- And also out with Ruiqi :) We ate at Manpuku, heh. Plus I saw my Red^2! :)

Lastly, my dad seems to want to fight with me every single fucking day so yeah. Maybe he's going through early menopause. But I'm fucking annoyed. Idk what he wants from me. Period.

Okay, that's all I guess. Hopefully I'll have another blog entry by the end of Wednesday! :)

Hugeass motherfucking dream catcher.

Hello I love my clique :)

So hopefully I'll see you guys soon. and I'm ending with something to ponder over about our society. Goodnight.

I'll stay.

2011-07-17T11:35:00.004+08:00

Self worth.

What do you think you're worth?

I think I don't worth anything.

Not respect.

Not friendship.

Not love.

But think about it. How do we determine our self worth?

Are we naturally born with this thinking?

No.

When we were kids, we were so confident. Every step we took, even if it meant risking a fall, was
full of energy and confidence. We were never afraid then.

So then who determined our self worth?

Judgement.

From who?

Starting with strangers.

People around us.

People who claim to be our friends.

People who claim to be our family.

People who claim to love us.

And finally, ourselves.

How we view ourselves is dependent on how people view us. Hence, if your maths is good, you will understand these two equations.

Other's views of me > my view of myself.

Then it evolves to,

My view of myself = How other's view me.

Get it yet?

We dress like how we're expected to. Expectations from others.

We change because of other people.

We want to be like others. We compare ourselves to others and most of the time, guess what? We always lose.

No matter what, you will lose when you compare.

Yes, my point is, our exterior is priority and our personality is secondary. Our self worth follows this guideline. And everything here, is based on everyone but you.

So, why are we letting other people control our own lives?

Just like sticks.

2011-07-13T00:05:00.001+08:00

I saw this on Tumblr quite a while back. I don't even need to write any words.

Love is used too much and too soon.

2011-07-09T22:57:00.002+08:00

I wasn't planning to blog today, but I made a bet with myself that if my stats hit 30 for the day, I'll blog, cause I was really super sure it wouldn't -.- BUT IT DID. So yeah. Why am I explaining myself? I'm mad.

I'm gonna talk about this video.

It's a song that's sung by this guy called Chris Medina. I heard of it when Weijian was playing it the other day and I didn't think much of it then. Until I watched the music video. Chris had auditioned for American Idol but didn't make it to the top 24.

The title of this song is "What Are Words".

It's about this guy, who loves this girl. But yes, in reality, everything isn't perfect like in disney movies. No prince, no princess, no wedding ball, no dancing, no glass slipper.

They were about to get married when the girl he loved was involved in a car accident.

Juliana suffered brain injuries and had to be wheelchair bound. I think for forever? Not only that, I watched a video and she would constantly uncontrollably jerk at random times. She cannot speak properly, walk properly, or use her limbs properly.

On the day where they were supposed to be married, he said, "I'm giving all I've got to pull you through, to set you free. More than the vow, through thick and thin, and in your darkest hour, I will be your light."

It's been about 2 years or so, and he's still sticking together with her. It's just really moving for me, and I think this is what I perceive as love. They might not stay together forever, but he hasn't left her yet, and it's just, inspirational? Is that the right word?

In the music video you can see him going from going down his knees and proposing to her to taking care of her daily needs. And why this song had struck me so much is because I really felt his pain, his hurt, his loss, his love in it. At one point of singing the song he cried and all.

The title just says it all. What are words. I agree. What if he said, "Hey baby, I'll stay by you forever. I'll never leave you no matter how hard it gets." So the girl gets into a car accident, then he leaves her. This is what words are. Nothing more. But he doesn't leave. His words bring along a promise he wouldn't break. He doesn't just stay for the good times, he stays for the though times too. In the song, the lyrics also go "I would never leave when she needs me the most."

It's so moving I just want to die.

Okay maybe not die.

He said in an interview that she inspires him still. Even just by waking up every single day. It makes him appreciative of life. The fact that she has great difficulty just to hold a glass of water but doesn't run off to kill herself motives him. Okay, that's my interpretation. She's a brave soul :) I don't even know how I should feel towards her. Sad because she got into an accident, or happy that she's got a guy that has really proven his unconditional love for her.

So anyway, here are some photos, I just thought it's be appropriate.

She's beautiful.

Last photo, which I love the best.

Not good enough.

2011-07-08T23:53:00.005+08:00

I've been studying like a really good girl. Study group with Weiteng, Sijing, Zhanhao and Xinwei the other day was very, very fruitful. Not because of Red^2 ;D

So I've been wanting to talk about this for a while now, but haven't had the chance to.

Relationships.

As Google defines it, a relationship is "An emotional and sexual association between two people".

I want to correct Google.

An emotional OR sexual association between two people

I was never the one that believes in true love. I believe in love, but perhaps a more momentary kind. Love is love, Sex is sex. They are separate.

I think that the only reason why people who are really in love have sex is to have kids and start a family. The others, it's just for the sex, not love.

If you really love someone, don't show it in terms of sex. That's dumb. Unless you're some horny ass bitch that's using 'love' as an excuse, and after fucking the guy, when he breaks up with you, you go 'I gave him everything, I should've known.' yada yada yada.

Especially when a guy is attached and fucking his girlfriend, and he cheats on her by fucking some other girl. Ouch? So if you really love a guy, don't fuck him. You'll only be hurting yourself if he ever cheats on you or breaks up with you. If you don't love the guy, then that's alright, you won't feel anything even if he cheats on you or leaves.

This is where the term, "friends with benefits", come in.

Sex is like a game of cards. Find a player, play the game, have fun, forget about it afterwards. Do you remember every game of cards you play? I don't think sex is really a big deal.

Love is the big deal here. As said, sex is a game, no love at all, so no one gets hurt.

But love? People hurt.

Love means holding hands, exchanging kisses, leaning on shoulders, lying down together(with clothes on), cooking for each other. That is love. And somehow to me, love seems like so much more of a dangerous game than sex.

You put your heart on the line.

Only family, friends, lovers, people who are close to ownself will love. Sex? You can have it with anyone.

(okay except maybe the bangla downstairs).

When someone you love leaves, you hurt.

When someone you just have sex with leaves, well, okay.. No biggie.

I know I sound like a total slut now, but that's just how I feel. Love and sex should have a very distinguished line in between. It's not like I've had sex, but this are just my views.

Plus I don't think there's anything wrong about sex. Having sex with someone doesn't make a girl a slut, or a boy a hero. Similarly, not having sex with anyone doesn't mean someone is a loser.

I wouldn't mind if my boyfriend, fucks someone else without love. But if he fucks some other girl and falls in love with her I'll kill him. LOL. If I really love my boyfriend, I won't fuck him. I'll fuck other guys but him. Because it'll be giving him a chip to hurt you.

But guys out there, please, please don't ever cheat on girls who really love you. You will regret it. Don't get together with a girl whom you don't love too. And especially don't ask other girls out with the stupid flirty face ;) when you have, a fucking, girlfriend.

Not all girls will feel the way I do. If you can tell by now, I'm rather different from other girls. I still can't tell if it's a good or bad thing.

YES, So anyway, this blog post isn't turning out like how I expected it to be. I kind of forgot what I wanted to blog about so I shall just summarise everything.

1. Love and sex are separate matters.
2. Love>Sex. Sex is just a physical game whereas love is scary. Real scary.
3. Dont judge non-virgins.
4. Don't judge virgins either.
5. Never cheat on the one you love. You might lose everything.
6. Try not to fuck someone if you really love.
7. Fuck someone you don't love(if you want to).
8. Be open minded.

Okay actually I don't know what I'm talking about anymore HAHAHAH. Sleep deprived and I still have coursework tomorrow, so I count this post and giving my readers some food for thought? Minus the food of course.

Okay,

ABRUPT ENDING.

Tell.

2011-07-01T15:23:00.002+08:00

Let loose.

Try.

2011-06-30T20:35:00.003+08:00

Yes, this is the Lady Gaga post I promised. Lady gaga. Let me show you the most commonly searched things about her okay? This is what I typed into Google.

Seriously. Does the world have nothing nice to say about her? -.-

Why do I want to blog about Lady Gaga? To understand that, I hope you watch this video first :)

Tags: MTV Shows

Get it now? If you were too lazy to watch it, this video was about Gaga talking about bullying she had gotten in high school. In America(or whatever country she's in la), there are stereotypes. Jocks, Emos, Nerds, etc. I asked Quin about it, it seriously exists la LOL. Or maybe just in his school?

Yeah, so anyway, given the fact that Gaga was such a weirdo(honestly), she of course didn't fit well in school. She talked about being thrown into the trash in public, and the worst thing was that despite being humiliated, she could not cry. She was being strong, I thought that was cool.

Even when giving this interview/confession, she still struggles to find the correct words and emotions, look at the way she hesitates, how her words don't just flow.

But the thing isn't this.

The thing is that, look at Lady Gaga.

Just look.

I mean seriously, she's a weirdo.

But she looks good.

Throughout high school, despite the bullying and everything, she never once changed who she was. She was proud of who she was, who she is.

She was probably insecure and all but she stuck to her guns, and I kind of admire her for that. Comparing to myself, I think I've changed a lot because I wanted to fit in. I'm afraid of judgment from others.

She's weird, but the thing she possesses is confidence, and though her style is different, she manages to look great.

The most beautiful people are the ones who've been through many struggles but still decide to meet life with a smile on their faces.

Yes, those are my words.

I mean, I just feel that way. She's different, and it's hard being different. Everyone should know that by now. But she survived, she excelled. Fucking cool or what.

Here to keep some balance with the chimology I stated above are some funny shit. Okay funny to me k.

How Gaga would look with cans in her hair and cigarette shades.

How you would look with cans in your hair and cigarette shades.

How Gaga would look with a meat dress.

How you would look in a meat dress.

Okay, okay, I tried to be funny, I just think I'm lame. BUT LOOK AT THE COW HAHAHAHA. IT'S SO EPIC!

So Lady Gaga, I salute you for being proud of who you really are, cause you were Born This Way, loving to Dance In The Dark, playing The Love Game and having a Bad Romance with Alejandro, standing at the Edge Of Glory, managing to keep your Pokerface while almost falling. There's really Nothing Else I Can Say.

Okay, that was REALLY REALLY LAME. I AM SO BO LIAO.

I did a cover specially for this post but as usual, it's out of tune and blahblahblah *long list of nonsense*. But who cares la. I like to sing, I SING.

Born This Way by Gaga.

Yeah, but in all, I think she's really meaningful. I just want to end with a photo of Gaga and words she said in a youtube video I found.

"And it sticks with you, and it hurt.

And I went home and I cried,

I didn't want to go to school.

And I felt, that in some way,

I was less valuable."

You left me hanging once again.

2011-06-29T20:04:00.002+08:00

Hello! I've been busy with school. I woke up at 5am today but I was late! ):
I thought it was 7.30am report so I went to check out a cake for Ziming and Bryce, or else I confirm won't late ah ):

Anyway I'll just update yeah? Not really blog like blog blog. You know what I mean? Okay I'm talking to myself.

School's been good, I haven't fallen asleep except for in lit for like 10 seconds only ah. And during morning assembly when Ms Cheng just couldn't shut her mouth.

Then today there was coursework, I seriously laughed the whole 3 hours I was there because of Lijie and Yijie. They super lame and childish, then so funny! I told Jiachin they were nonidentical twins LOLOLOL. It was just super funny can already LOL.

Yeap, lastly, O'levels chinese is tomorrow. I hope I can do well *crosses fingers*

Sorry for the unnecessary information, okay, BYE.

Never alone.

2011-06-24T00:31:00.003+08:00

Hello, ton-ed with Ruiqi a few days ago, just the both of us :)
We were supposed to ton at Clark Quay but ended up ton-ing at a multi-story carpark, heh.

We caught the movie "Mr Popper and his penguins" or something like that at midnight. It's super funny, but predictable. Worth the watch though :D
So yeah it was pretty awesome. We got like drunk and shit, and puked -.-

When I woke up, then I realised I called a lot of people on my phone and said stuff to them that I don't even know. Serious, I went to count -.- 20+ people. And they are like super no link people! Like I called Jeremy, Sijing, Nengyan, Ruiyi, Emilia, Jasmine, Dhruv, Andy, Carnie, Joshua Lum, etc. Freaking no link one.Thank god when we played drinking games Ruiqi lost more than me, or confirm die LUL.

I love Ruiqi :3

Anyway, the photos are down below. After that gonna talk about my day today with Sijing :D

Hello I love lights.

Okay, the I went shopping with Sijing today! At Orchard and Bugis. I haven't went shopping in forever -.- Yeah, and she made me like Gyoza because there was no "jiu cai" or something. Actually it's nice ah. I don't wanna tell her only HEH.

Wtf, on the train there was this guy, and I didn't know if he was doing it on purpose or what, but he kept touching my ass. He moved from another area walk until behind me. But I couldn't tell if he was doing it on purpose because the train was so fucking crowded, I couldn't even move away when I tried. Then I stared at him for awhile, and then he suddenly alighted the train. Seriously, fucking annoyed. This is why I hate crowded trains. And I couldn't even tell Sijing because the train was so crowded everyone would hear. !@#$%.

Forget it. Anyway, we shopped around and Sijing lost her PIG. HAH. I knew it. Oh by the way the shoes she bought fucking chio *dies* Oh ya, SHE LOST HER PIG, HAH. Then that crazy girl wanted to bus home, she had 41 stops, I got 52 -.- Evil soul :P

Oh, lastly, Sijing, I know you're reading this, so :(B) I know you get it 8D

I know I bought super little ): Shopping again tomorrow, gonna buy LOTS more :D
Best buys are the Dress(Forever21, my virgin buy from there, I know I fail), and the nose cleansing thing. DAMN COOL AND NICE TO USE. SO SOFT ALSO, AND IT'S LIKE DAMN CHEAP.

Oh and stay tuned. Will be blogging about Lady Gaga by this week. I think my views are interesting :) Or at least I hope so? ):

Okay 2am now, doubt I'm sleeping soon. School in starting in a few days, God bless you all.

GOODNIGHT!

Imperfections.

2011-06-22T16:21:00.000+08:00

Hello. My nose very big. DO NOT ZOOM IN OR I WILL CHOP YOU INTO MINCED MEAT. Anyway, since I won't be home for the next 2 days, I thought I should pre-blog and let it post one a later date.

Just wanted to say I did my new cover. Unfaithful by Rihanna. Check it out if you're bored! Don't forget to ask me questions on formspring! The views for today is already 70 views(seen at 9pm) and none of you asked me a question -.-

Alright, BYE!

Cycle.

2011-06-21T17:46:00.003+08:00

"Okay," she said emotionless.

I was like that too.

I guess that's what happens when you don't talk for so long.

I was wondering if things would ever work out.

After all, people get so close, just to fall apart, they'll never be the same. There'll always be that feeling of mistrust.

You'll never let your guard down.

-Rudolph.

Now what?

2011-06-21T16:52:00.003+08:00

Hello, some photos from coursework! I look so cui.

AWW :3

I think Tarmidzi is super friendly! I just found out his name yesterday through Zhiliang, and I really think he's nice ah! Yeah, I just wanted to say that.

Ton-ing tonight at town area, for 2 days I think. Won't be tweeting or updating. Sorry.

Love you guys, till then, xoxo.

Remembering little things.

2011-06-20T20:32:00.002+08:00

Can I tell you guys something?
Today is a good day despite having exhausting coursework.
I finally saw this guy I used to like after 2 years of not seeing him.

Starting off, he is not cute. Seriously.
But then again when I like someone, I really don't go for looks.
I had a really huge crush on him, like for 2 years? -__-
Yes, I know I suck.

He lives a bus stop away from me, and he used to be from my school, and we always saw each other on the train each morning, but I'd be invisible to him. But it was cool to follow his back to school you know, like he had the nicest back ever. I have no idea why I noticed that. Maybe because he was tall and had broad shoulders?

I swear I have no idea why I used to like him so much. It's so ridiculous.

Yeah, he didn't like me, and we had some misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings which I indirectly caused ._.
I tried to explain myself but I always went jelly in front of him ):

So after he graduated, I wrote this super long letter to him explaining the misunderstandings we had and I kind of confessed that I like him.
He didn't write back.

It was SO awkward for me on the bus as I remembered the letter.
He still looks the same, not much difference.

And yes, he's the "J' everyone has been asking me about.

I just want to say, my heart still skips a beat when I see him, though I guess I don't like him anymore. I still think of him once in a while.

Up till now, I totally have no clue why I liked him, but yeah, I guess that's just it.

Okay I just wanted to say this la. BYE.

I just re-read the letter. Embarrassing fuckkkkk, AHHHH *runs around whole house*

BYE.

No wait. I not embarrassed already, cause I just talked to Eugene on the phone. He's at Jurong, HAHAHAH. He is super hilarious. K, I miss Eugene. No longer embarrassed. Yes I know this is a retarded post, HEH.

Out of the box.

2011-06-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

When I was seven, and my little brother was four, he had a fit.

No, I don't mean little temper fits, I mean a real fit. The ones that you could die from.

It was four in the morning. I woke up to a huge commotion. The corridor lights in my house were switched on, and I saw my little brother just lying there. His eyeballs rolled up, into his eyelids. You can barely seem them. He looked possessed.

Everyone in my family was crowding around him. My dad picked him up and brought him to the living room. Everyone was in panic. I could hear screams, crying, that fear embedded in people's voices, such that you can just immediately tell that they are afraid.

It's funny how I noticed the little things.

My little brother laid in my father's arms. I thought he was dead. He could not move. But then for a second, he blinked.

When I was seven, I had no fucking idea what the fuck a fucking fit was. But the fact that he blinked, I felt some hope.

I panicked. I gave encouragements, saying, 'Blink, blink! Don't stop blinking! That's it! Continue! Just blink!"

My dad shouted at me, saying he doesn't need to blink, he needs to continue breathing.

We were all in fright. Literally.

We had no car, there were no cabs roaming at four in the morning.

We knocked on all our neighbours' doors, waking them up, and half and hour later, a neighbour sent my father, mother and little brother to the clinic. The car could not fit everyone.

I walked into the room calmly. I hadn't shed a single tear.

There, I laid on the bed, under the covers, and I just cried alone.

I was seven. I could hear my grandmother's piercing voice, the only sound there was, as she cries with my elder brother in the living room. They just cried together.

I forgot when my little brother came back.

But I cannot phantom how glad I was that he was okay.

And although he might be a real asshole at times, I just want to say,

I treasure him.

Expectations.

2011-06-18T00:56:00.002+08:00

Hello. How I wish this was my brother and me :)

Irreversible.

2011-06-17T20:33:00.002+08:00

Hello! I've been sooo busy with coursework these few days. I'm actually really proud of myself because I attended coursework every single day :) I didn't skip at all.

However, I have become accident prone after hanging out with Sijing too much, LOL.
I got screwed. No really, like you know, the screw, my hand? Ouch? And I got screwdrivered too -.- Real smart. I have bruises everywhere. frictions burns, EVERYTHING.

I've been pretty alone these few days too. Like workshop I use one whole table to myself. No one wanna join me, LOL. Okay la actually I don't really mind :)
Plus there's this freaking friendly funny Malay guy from sec 5, I still don't know his name. He's super hilarious. And I learned the other two sec 5 boys names from Mayvis, called Yijie and Lijie. They also freaking funny omg LOL. *Hammer hammer hammer; tok tok tok*, then they deesiao Xinzhi, OMG I SERIOUSLY LAUGH DAO SIAO.

Wlao, then the uncle who always chase us out of school wanted to help me with my DNT, but he made a hole in my wood and scratched it badly ): I FEEL SO SAD YOU KNOWWW. I even said thank you cause I don't want him to feel sad cause he said he felt more like a hinderance than help. He had good intentions ah, nevermind. The malay guy ask me go sue him, must get the best lawyer (Y) hah.

So that's all there is to my life right now. I didn't even enjoy my holiday, if it's even called one. Going drinking at Clark Quay area next week, gonna ton there :D

Right now, I have a decision to make ): What's wrong with me.

Pictures from kbox by the way. Still got more with Ruiyi, she's taking forever!

Love this photo.

Oh and anyway, I heard that Selena Gomez doesn't really love Justin Bieber. She got together with him just for publicity? I actually don't know. But Justin heard of it and got a photographer friend to take photos of him grabbing Selena's ass on a holiday to Hawaii, and the photos would be sent to her mom. Nice.

But I'm not sure if it's true though. And I can't believe I'm really saying this, but Justin Bieber is hot. Yes, there. I said it. I'm probably not gonna repeat it. Ever. BUT SERIOUSLY, LOOK HERE.

Okay, NO, I refuse to get Bieber Fever.

Taken with Dada's Ipad, COOL OR NOT :D

Okay, last photo before I go, I love my girls! Bye :)

Why. What if.

2011-06-16T21:23:00.002+08:00

I've read this story before but I can't exactly remember what happened. If I'm not wrong, I think this little boy's father had died serving his country. His father has gone to heaven. He is still left on here, hanging on.

The officer talking to him, can he understand the little boy's pain? The photographer, can he understand the little boy's pain? You, can you understand the little boy's pain?
No. No one can. It hurts too much. It's just so sad.

Sometimes you have to be strong, even when your whole world just falls apart.

Truth.

2011-06-15T22:48:00.002+08:00

On the desk are a half-dozen pictures of my family. There's one with Kate as a baby, wearing a knit hat that looks like a strawberry. Another with Jesse and me, grinning just as wide as the bluefish balanced between our hands.

I used to wonder about the fake pictures that came in frames you can buy at the store - ladies with smooth brown hair and show-me smiles, grapefruit-headed babies on their sibling's knees - people who in real life probably were strangers brought together by a talent scout to be a phony family.

Maybe it's not so different from real photos, after all.

Are you a Shawty?

2011-06-12T13:41:00.004+08:00

Today's post will be full of words :) It's all about how to look taller and skinnier!
I'm extremely short, like 154 or 156cm? Yeah I know, I feel sad for myself too LOL. But if I can't change my height anymore, at least I can make myself look taller right!

So here I am blogging about how to make yourself look taller. When you look taller, automatically you'll look skinnier as well :) See I'm so nice, good things share with you all leh!

Tip one. Wear dark neutral colours. I don't really know why, but it works for me. Anyway I think outfits that are black are nice anyway :D

Tip two. Never, ever, ever, EVER wear three-quarter jeans. Serious. They make you look freaking short, fat, and your ass will look huge(not in the good way). Make you look like some auntie that just came back from the market. Don't believe you go try. That's why I never wear them unless I have no choice. They take away the curves and shape of your legs, and suddenly break awkwardly. Hence, only if you have some model figure and you aren't afraid of wearing anything, then you go wear lor.

Tip three. Try to wear vertically striped clothes. This might be a challenge, because horizontally striped clothes are more common. But little do you know, they make you look shorter. Plus, for myself, I prefer horizontally striped clothes, I find vertically striped ones weird though they can make you look tall. So if you're like me, you like horizontally striped clothes, the least you can do is choose them with thinner stripes. Meaning, choose clothes with spaces between each line that are smaller. Get it?

Tip four. Let your Shirt/blouse/top break away at your thigh area instead of your waist area. This creates an illusion that you have a longer body. For example, do this,

instead of this.

See the difference?

By breaking away at the thighs, it makes you look as though you have a elongated body, plus it will not make your legs look any shorter since your thighs are usually hidden when you're out anyway(unless you're a slut wearing translucent leggings as your pants).

Tip five. If you're wearing long jeans, make sure you don't fold them at the bottom. Alter them by sewing them after folding on the INSIDE.

Even mannequins can appear short with folded jeans.

Also, try to let the long jeans break on your shoes.

Tip six. Match up both top and bottom colours. Let's say your top is dark blue, try to make your bottoms dark blue as well. The same colour will make it seem like there is no break in your body dividing your legs and torso area = tall :D

Tip seven. Try to wear V-neck clothes. Especially don't wear turtle necks omg. Your neck will looks so high and you body will just be fail. Anyway it's Singapore here, so you don't even need turtle necks. V-neck clothes will create an illusion for the eye to people that you are in fact taller than you originally are.

Her neck and head is awkward! Maybe it's just me, but still?

Tip eight. If you have short arms, cover them up with a cardigan. Seriously, go try. It will make your arms crazily long.

Tip nine. Wear high heels. Like duh? Stilettos make you look the tallest, though I don't recommend them, ouch.

Tip ten. Try not to curl your hair in small curls. Try big gentle curls. Better yet, keep straight hair to aid in making you look taller.

That's all the tips I remember for now.

All these tips are just to make you LOOK taller. By the way, Sijing's mom says I look taller than Carnie. SEE, IT WORKS K. Carnie is at least 167? Like 10cm more than me la.

Now, to really BECOME tall, here are also a few tips.

Firstly, eat potatoes. This what Gillian said.

But potatoes contain like a lot of carbohydrates which make you fat so I have no idea hah. Potatoes =/= french fries okay! I laugh at you if you everyday go eat fries just to be taller. You will be taller, just sideways.

You can also drink milk, although it might be a bit too late, but no harm trying! MOOOOO.

Then, my elder brother, who is a gym trainer, says to go to the monkey bar and hang yourself with you arms every day over a period of time. The gravity pulls you down and will cause your body to be long.

But Sijing said, no, it will only make your arms longer, and I actually think it makes sense LOL. Maybe you go hang yourself on the monkey bar by your legs ah, then your legs can look taller, HAH.

My advice, skipping or playing basketball. I've been skipping almost every day for half an hour or so? Tiring mad I swear. You can skip up to thousand over, I counted. But I've been lazy for two days la, never skip. See if I grow taller soon, LOL, then you all can skip also.

Anyway, today is Jordan's birthday, Happy Birthday :) I miss him sooo much. One of my best partners everrrrr.

That's all, I'm gonna do maths now, till next time :)

Tired eyes,

In the beginning, there was nothing at all but the moon and the sun. And the moon wanted ti come out during the day, but there was something so much brighter that seemed to fill up all those hours. The moon grew hungry, thinner and thinner, until she was a slice of herself, and her tips were as sharp as a knife. By accident, because that is the way most things happen, she poked a hole in the night and out spilled a million stars, like a fountain of tears.

Horrified, the moon tried to swallow them up. And sometimes this worked, because she got fatter and rounder. But mostly it didn't because there were just so many. The stars kept coming, until they made the sky so bright that the sun got jealous. He invited the stars to his side of the world, where it was always sunny and bright. What he didn't tell them, though, was thing in the daytime, they'd never be seen. So the stupid ones leaped from the sky to the ground, and the froze under the weight of their own foolishness.

The moon did her best. She carved each of these blocks of sorrow into a man or a woman. She spent the rest of her time watching out so that her other stars wouldn't fall. She spent the rest of her time holding on to whatever scraps she had left.

Why can't you ever see good in me?

2011-06-11T21:11:00.010+08:00

Update with photos!

Recently went to wild wild wet with Sijing, Emilia, Angel, Lili, Mayvis, Aaron and Yijie! It was pretty fun. But I felt like mega insecure because all of them so skinny, fuck youuuu, hahah.

Ruiqi, Jasmine and my brother's birthday passed not too long ago too, so happy birthday :)

I went out to dinner with my family to celebrate, some hotel place at Orchard. Super nice. I think I gained like 2846248 kg alr.

Can you see the silhouette of my brother and his girlfriend? :) The pool was beautiful too.

I've also been busy with school.

Then went sing K with my girls at Katong. Cheap or what only. $25 for 4 hours. Then one person pay like $5. Compared to Kbox which is like $30?

Was camwhoring on the bus because I needed to bus to tamp k. Don't judge :P

We got damn high and started umping like crazy. Dies. Hahah.

LIKE A G6, LIKE A G6!

NomzX100000. Katong laksa is the best laksa ever.

I love my girls a lot. They make me so happy :D "OMG GOT RAT" Hahahah. Sang like mad, even paid for an hour more. More pictures with Teng and Ruiyi. Will post them up when I get them :D Can't wait for them to upload zomgggg. My camera died in 10 mins omg fail. Really enjoyed that day. -heart-

Looked through old photos and cried. My family was a family last time. They always made me feel loved. Made me happy. I hope I made them happy too.

SEE HOW CHIO I AM LAST TIME. GROW UP BECOME SO UGLY LOL.

My glutton brother :)

Look how much swagger I had with the milk bottle. Hah. Gangsta (Y)

I miss my grandma.

And I miss my dad.

And I miss my brothers.

And I found this photo! I miss those times man. Awesome as hell :)

Lastly, a big thank you for everyone who liked my cover. There are 22people but I lazy go print screen again ah. Really, it was like a self-esteem boost :)

I'll blog again tomorrow! One with many many words! :)
I love you guys! My stats are now 261, and it's only the 11th day on June :)
Hopefully I can hit 700 or 800 this month! Have a good rest, tomorrow is Sunday, whoo! *dances*

Judging yourself.

2011-06-08T19:10:00.002+08:00

New cover down below! Will blog soon, promise!
I've been been studying a lot and really deprived of sleep ):
Friday will come soon, can't wait to kbox! :D

Bye!

Am I really ready?

2011-06-03T20:07:00.000+08:00

I love my literature class. Just saying.

Sex isn't love, love isn't sex.

2011-06-03T14:46:00.018+08:00

Hello guys, I know I haven't done a good post in a while, hope this makes up for it!
I've been real busy nowadays, so Imma tell you what I've been doing!

Not too long ago, it was Vivian's birthday! Ruiqi, Leeboon, Jiahui, Yubin, Derwin, Joseph, Jianxiang and Nicholas went to celebrate :)
Oh by the way, Jianxiang freaking cute. Just saying. There are more photos, will put them up when Ruiqi does, hah.

We places clues all around and she had to find everything :) We did a lot man. It wqas like a self-organised camp already LOL.

Of course, what's a camp without plenty of waterbombs :)

And a bash. LOL. Ya I got unibrow la.

Then, we had McBeth, which was pretty fucking awesome.

The P-POSE LOL.

Love my gang of lit student. Probably the most awesomest people ever.

More photos are on facebook!

Then, we had preperation for Chinese O's. It was hell I tell you.

Yes, I laughed super long. Why Jaslene so curte one!

And Isaac.

Minjun and Amos also. Everyone was sleeping hah.

And yes, being the awesome students we are, see what we did for the last MT lesson before the O's.

*Dies laughing*

LOOK AT ISAAC QUICK.

Yes, I learned how to play the monopoly card, I even won, whoo. What horrible students we are.

I also went shopping with Ruiqi a while ago.

BOOBS.

So craving for this now.

And I've been packing my dump. I shall not call it a room/house until I finish LOL.
I find it hard to believe that I'm a girl. I'm done with my room, moving on to my table. Trust me, it ain't pretty.
And I found this! Anyone wants to buy from me? ): I sell cheap cheap, promise. Plus it's totally new. Haven't even open please.

Then there was the Polytechnic experience. We went to TP for humanities! Psychology course is 9 points. Goodbye life. LOL.

Heheheh, Jaslene! :D

Been hanging around with cats too :D I love animals. See so cute :3
I've also been doing really weird stuff when I feel sad. Like, growing a moustache :O

And I completed my 666 paged book. Love it to the maximun. How can the hot Connor die ): I love novels. Yes I'm a nerd. Got problem?

Trying to be artistic la can?

Then I've been camwhoring too, LOL. Ya, with my ugly face.

And I'm trying to understand the language of guitar. Current grade = F9.

So yeah, see how busy I've been! I'm sorry okay ):

Plus today was a pretty awesome day. IS was soooo shiok, just like old times. Gonna put up photos here soon :D If you can't wait, it's all on facebook! If you've read till here, I salute you.

For those who prefer words to pictures, I have some for you too.

It's about fireflies. Have you seen fireflies before? They're beautiful.

Sijing told me that she catches them in Malasia, and keeps them in a jar. I would too. But she says they will die. Their lights will flicker and it will off, then they die. Sad okay. So she lets them out when their lights start to flicker, and their lights will glow brightly once they're out again! So it makes me think they die of heartbreak ): I know it sounds like a dumb idea, but that's what I think okay.

Anyway, I love fireflies too, I need to catch them and keep them in a jar for a while. Seeing them at fort canning not enough, so far away!

Aiya off topic. I'm gonna talk about the song, "Fireflies" by Owl City. I'm sure you all have heard it, if not go hear now. It was a hit a while back. Initially, I thought tis song was crap, like I didn't get it at all, and the Music video made no sense to me. But now I do.

What this song represents is a yearning and desire to relive our childhood. The melody is so simple and pretty, and it's so dreamy, like childhood innocence. Think about it, who catches fireflies? Children. Adults work too much to give a fuck LOL. Then he also says, "I'd like to make myself believe", which is something caught inbetween his fantasy and reality. He knows reality but wishes for fantasy. Get it? 'I'd like to make myself believe, that planet Earth turns slowly". He's means that Earth revolves too quickly, and we grow up too quickly too.

Like something as simple as just catching fireflies brings people back to their childhood, dreams, happiness. It seems magical and surreal, don't you think? Fireflies. And see how in the Music video, the room is stack full of toys, further supports.

Then, the lyrics do go, "To 10 million fireflies, I'm weird cause I hate goodbyes, got misty eyed as they say farewell. But I know where several are, and if my dreams get real bizzare, cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar." To him, his dreams is reality, when he's awake, it's his childhood. That's why he saids "I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep". Fireflies symbolises childhood, and he says, goodbye sadly to his childhood. But his "dreams" which is reality, if it gets bad or something, he tries to relive his childhood with the several fireflies left.

Alright, sorry for the many words. Love that song by the way. Goodnight everyday! I still have coursework tomorrow *grumbles* K bye! :)

The Inbetween.

2011-06-01T21:38:00.004+08:00

Hello darlings. I know recently my blog posts have my crap, like just one stupid photo of my ugly face then write a few words only. I PROMIS TO DO A GOOD BLOG POST SOON OKAY! It's just that I've been real busy. Soon! Promise!

Anywaym I skipped school today, I feel ultra guilty but whatevr LOL. Went to get my MC in the afternoon, THE DOCTOR DAMN KAOPEH ONLY. Annoying man. But so cheap worth it la. Plus got aircon. Missing some wifi only LOL.

I went to Huda's house after that. Stalker, ahem ;) Talked and all, had loads of fun. Then we watched The Lovely Bones. Omg rofl "Me-You=Retard" and "Bitch." HAHAHAAHAH. Left around 8.30pm, and went home to do my cover. Tell me if it's good or bad alright!

I also borrowed Ruiyi's guitar the other day, I suck at it, I'm trying to play it real hard ): I can't even tune it properly! Shall not give up just yet.
Okay, that's it, I gotta bathe soon! So dirty ):
Goodnight :)

"Oh sweetheart, did you think that if you seal it up, the pain would go away? "
-The Lovely Bones.

I never told you.

2011-05-29T17:48:00.003+08:00

I have 10 minutes to blog! Before I hit the books. Chinese Chinese Chinese.
I'm very nervous for Chinese tomorrow.
I'm sure you all are too. Goodluck alright!
I can't believe I spent the last Chinese lesson laughing at nonsense with Sijing and learning to to play monopoly card game with Pam, Shawnn and Yongkai. 可力死门踢. Dies. Hahahahhah.
And yes, I do random stuff like drawing a moustache on myself when I feel sad.
BYE!

No one.

2011-05-25T15:46:00.005+08:00

Hi. These few days have been like SHIT.
School, chinese for 7 motherfucking hours, home. I'm so sick of Chinese.
Sitting with Jaslene, Pam, Ruiyi and Denise really brightens me day la, laugh like mad only, but still, Chinese can kill.
Yes, I came home today early so I can practice my Chinese but apparently I'm not.
Chinese O'levels in 4 days. My parents still don't know.

Looking at the A1 I had targeted earlier this year for Chinese O's, I'm just like, WTF, DID I REALLY SET THAT TARGET? IT'S LIKE IMPOSSIBLE LA. I just hope to please please please get a B. Really. I'm so stressed I'm gonna die GAHH.
Whatever. Goodluck to all of you all okay, and as for those without exams, enjoy your post-exam activities. I know you must feel awesome.

AND I LOST 2KG ;D I skipped like lunch and dinner, 3rd day and counting, supposed to be 5th day but I broke the chain on Sunday ._.
Alright, last Chinese lesson tomorrow, MUST, TRY, HARDER, K! :)

I don't think I ever loved you. Maybe I just liked you. Maybe I just wanted you because you wanted her and not me. I don't know. Or maybe I loved you. But not anymore. Why do I keep thinking of you on those late nights then?